OMG! If these first two directives aren't cases of lawyers gone wild, I don't know what is. This falls right in there with the sticker inside windshield screens that tells the owner not to operate the vehicle with it in place.

As soon as finish with the "Ground Up" project I'm starting a new Country. Any law, policy, or procedure that takes more than one type written, double space, 12 font page won't be allowed.

This is a door opener for god's sake! Here, let me help.

MANUFACTURER: Your crap better work. Make what you want. Charge what you want, but if it fails as a result of defects in the first 3 years, you're replacing it. And if it hurts or kills somebody because it's a piece of crap, we're going to retaliate Old Testament style. Capiche?

INSTALLER: YOU HAD BETTER NOT THINK YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THE MANUFACTURER, YOU DIP WAD. Follow the instructions. If it breaks in the first three years because your ego exceeds your IQ, you personally are going to buy the customer a new one of his choice AND you're going to replace whatever it damages. If it hurts or kills someone and we prove it was your installation, we're going to handle this Old Testament style. Capiche?

CUSTOMER: If the Manufacturer made it right and that dip wad installer installed it correctly and you still manage to break something or hurt or kill someone, what can we say? Your bad. It's a freegin' door opener not a toy. DON'T PLAY WITH IT! You have no idea what you're messing with, so leave it alone. And don't give us that "But what about my kids?" crap. Figure out who's the adult in the house. Slap the snot out of anyone else who touches the button. If it hurts or kills one of your kids, we're throwing a Darwin Society party. Capiche?

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The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- Paul Fix