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BARRY ADAIR
05-21-2007, 03:14 AM
Had an agent ask me to sniff the wet spot on the hardwood floors, in front of the client.

My reply was, “I’ll sniff it after you taste it.”

She replied, “I think it is pet urine.”

The client had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Not my most tactful day.

Why does my brain disengage when I need it the most?

Rick Hurst
05-21-2007, 04:26 AM
Barry,

Wonder what the agent would have done if you came back with telling them we need to call the Health Dept. to identify the urine. Or even yet a Haz-Mat team.

That might shut her up.

I had a awkward time yesterday. Had an inspection scheduled and when I showed up the listing agent was having an open house. Yes, she knew I was coming.

Probably 10 -15 people came through while I was there. Everyone of them wanted to know how it was going. I told them all I could not discuss any findings with them but gave them all a business card which I booked a call off of last night.

Hey, at least there was all of those nice snacks out for the open house that made it nice.

Scott Patterson
05-21-2007, 07:12 AM
Agent lets everyone in the home. Thirty minutes into the inspection, while walking down the hall the owners twenty something daughter comes strolling down the hall buck naked. She says, Oh! You must be the home inspector. She turns around and heads back to her room. A few minutes later she and her girlfriend stroll down the stairs and out the front door.

Agent, buyer and myself just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and never said a word about it to each other. Just another day!

Kevin VanderWarf
05-21-2007, 07:47 AM
Mexican the night before,
Oh, I was rumbling, the agent and the client walked outside.
Ahh, had to vent so to speak.
Perfect timing? nope, here they come back inside already.
I quickly started inspecting windows and vent fans.
I didn't waste a thought on an excuse for the horrible fog. There wasn't much I could say. I tried to convince myself that noone noticed. At least they didn't act like they noticed.

Scott,
Don't take this in a perverted way (unless hot & of age) but I believe I would have traded someone else's nakedness for my ripping one. That would have been awkward but less awkward for me.

Jerry McCarthy
05-21-2007, 08:10 AM
I would have got down on my hands and knees and sniffed the suspected spot then announced, "smells like piss to me, but the really important question is whose?" :D

Rick Hurst
05-21-2007, 09:35 AM
Scott,

Great story. Do tell more.

If not, just make up a story like the one you told and embellish it a bit for us older guys. :D

Rick Hurst
05-21-2007, 09:43 AM
Barry,

Have one for you.

A few years back me the son had an inspection out in Rockwall county on one of those streets where some builder came in and built 15-20 houses and sold about 2 of them.

He then let one agent list all the other homes for sale.

We had the right address but was yaking on the cell phone and pulled into the wrong driveway.

We go in and start specting away. (Thats Texan for inspecting for "youse" other spectors)

3 hrs. latter, the agent calls and wants to know why we hadn't came out. I said we're here now.

She says she's out in the driveway. I go out the front door and see her way down at the end of the road talking to me on her cell.

Now that was a awkward moment. We then had to go down the street and start all over again.

Jim Luttrall
05-21-2007, 10:14 AM
Rick, just be glad you were in Rockwall and not South Dallas:eek: it might have been more than just embarrassing.
Jim

Rick Hurst
05-21-2007, 05:26 PM
Talk about a real awkward moment.

I just came home and guess who I found on the internet looking at smut.

Now I know why I keep getting all those pop ups for doggie treats and toys.

I know he's embarrassed as about as much as I am for him. Its just that time of the year.

Gunnar Alquist
05-21-2007, 05:49 PM
Several years ago. 3 bd. 2 bath track house about 30 years old. The sellers were in the process of a divorce (you will probably figure out why).

The seller was rough looking; tattoos, 5-6" folding knife in a sheath on his hip, keys on a chain, etc. Unwilling to let me into the garage. I commented that this would limit the inspection as the FAU and water heater were in the garage and continued on my inspection. 20 minutes or so later, he decided to let me in and I found that the garage was absolutely packed with metal and large metalworking tools like a welder, brake, punch, drill press, etc. I looked at the water heater and furnace and went into the house to find the thermostat (gone maybe 15 seconds). When I returned to the garage, it was locked. I explained that I was not finished and he yelled and swore, told me that I don't know how to do my job. I carefully explained that, since the thermostat was in the house, it was necessary for me to leave the garage in order to turn it on. 5 or 10 minutes later, he let me into the garage again so I could finish the furnace inspection. After which, he locked the door and went out to the street, took out his folding knife and started carving into the hood of his truck. I can still picture him, barely controlling his rage by taking it out on his truck.

Man, I wanted that inspection to be over.

Eric Van De Ven
06-04-2007, 11:20 AM
While performing a termite inspection years ago, I was going over the report. My Client was a very attractive young woman. She had brought along three friends who were also very pleasing to the eye.

As I was going over the report, I told them that it was not a "pest inspection" as several of the Realtors had told them. It was a "Wood destroying Organism" report and then I told them exactly what a "Wood destroying organism" is according to the State of Florida.

I had to repeat the phrase "Wood destroying Organism" about 20 times!

The last time, due to a slip of the tongue, I said "Wood Destroying Orgasm"!

As they were all laughing, I added "And, those are the worst kind"!

Jerry McCarthy
06-04-2007, 11:51 AM
Early in my career I was taught the first lesson that all home inspectors must learn; never - ever assume or presume nothing!!! Halfway through the inspection I asked my client's daughter, a real knockout, when she thought her father would get off the home owner’s phone as I had several things I wanted show him. This was BCP. (before cell phones) He looked around my age, mid fifties, and she was pushing perhaps about 21?
Yah, you guessed it, she looked me in the eye and with a smile replied, “He’s not my father, he is my husband.” :(

Jack Feldmann
06-04-2007, 02:12 PM
I've probably shared these here before, but here they are again.

1. Meet my client and home owner in the front yard. We walk up to the front door and he unlocks it, and says - go to it. He then walks around the yeard with the buyer. I go in and start turning on lights and checking out the house. get to the master bedroom door, open it up, and in the half second it was open, two people going at it, stopping to see who opened the door, then jumping up. Ishut the door and took off for the front door.
I met the owner in the yard and told him he should have told me there were people in the house because I just about had a heart attack. He runs into the house, we hear lots of yelling, then a guys comes running out, soon followed by a woman in a car parked in the garage.

Seems it was his wife.

2. Doing another inspection and saw a light coming from behind a bookcase. Searched around and found a bookcase door into a secret bedroom with hancuffs, etc all set up.

JF

Jerry McCarthy
06-04-2007, 04:31 PM
Jack
The secret room with the handcuffs, etc; Gee, I didn't know East Coast Jerry ever lived in your area? :D :D :D

Rick Hurst
06-04-2007, 04:37 PM
Had another awkward moment today.

The wife took the day off from her salon and wanted to tag along with me.

When she does go with me, she takes down my notes as I go and its a big help.
I'm going through this vacant home spouting off everything I see and she's just a writing away. My cell phone is screaming like a banshee since its Monday morning.

I go through the master bathroom and call out the loose toilet, low water pressure at the shower, non-working GFCI, and start filling the hydro-therapy tub. I ask her to watch the tub as it fills and then turn it on while I move on to another part of the house.

She then comes in there where I'm at and continues her note taking.

She then asks, how come our builder didn't put in those lights above the tub like this house had. I said, "What Lights?"

Again, those over the tub.

I walk back in the master bathroom and behold both walls on the ends had lamps present which I swear had grown out of the walls after I walked out of there.

It just shows you how easily one can miss something by being distracted with the phone or something like the wife tagging along.