Had a good laugh

[Jim Luttrall]

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror
and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and
ugly. Give me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near
perfect."

He never heard the shot....

[wayne soper]

Guy's out playing golf with his wife. Pulls one off the tee and clocks her right in the head. She drops like a stone. Ambulance comes, to the hospital, D.O.A.
Since it's manslaughter they have to do an autopsy.
Husband gets a call from the coroner who says" Very unsual, your wife was killed by a blow to the head by a golf ball yet during the autopsy I found a golf ball lodged in her rectum".
The husband says " Oh Yeah, that was my Mulligan"