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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Default Comments and suggestions on this article

    I'd appreciate any comments or suggestions on this article before it goes live on my undated site.

    Thanks.

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    Michael Thomas
    Paragon Property Services Inc., Chicago IL
    http://paragoninspects.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    Southern Vancouver Island
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    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    I like the approach, it is simple and makes enough sense that most people will get it.
    Could you break it into 2 shorter chapters?

    Do you need permission to use those pics? Just a thought.

    John Kogel, RHI, BC HI Lic #47455
    www.allsafehome.ca

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Chicago, IL
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    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Quote Originally Posted by John Kogel View Post
    I like the approach, it is simple and makes enough sense that most people will get it.
    Could you break it into 2 shorter chapters?

    Do you need permission to use those pics? Just a thought.
    Nope. Took them from the street.

    Michael Thomas
    Paragon Property Services Inc., Chicago IL
    http://paragoninspects.com

  4. #4

    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Sorry, in my past life I was in Journalism, so I read this with an editor's eye...

    You've got two paragraphs on the first page that start with "The goal of this article..." The introductory paragraphs should state the goal without it being called out as such.

    You use a lot of hyphens to separate sentence clauses. This can get confusing and can also mess with how the article is laid out in narrow columns. Better to use commas.

    The pictures with the roofs might be better submitted as a sidebar (mini-article that runs alongside the main article) to keep the flow of the main article more smooth.

    Good luck!

    Edited to add: Sorry, I just noticed that you said the article is for your own website, not a newspaper. Most of what I said still applies, though. The roof pictures should have MUCH shorter captions if they are for the web; put the content in the article itself.


    --Welmoed

    Welmoed Sisson
    Inspections by Bob, LLC, Boyds, MD
    "Given sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Bennett (Denver metro), Colorado
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    1,394

    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Typo in third paragraph under "Picking the right problems" "select a house, they are also"
    Another in sixth paragraph "start to see _ several"

    Well, you get the idea, it needs a careful edit. Several run on sentences, etc.

    So, the article is more about exterior features to look for. Maybe you should do a series of articles. My sense is that it is too wordy.....something that I am guilty of committing. Whenever, I write anything, I have to set it aside and comeback with a sharp knife and edit it down. Hell, I often edit these little commentaries. My two cent suggestion, is to make it more to the point. The illustrations are great and you may be able to make your points with simple captions for the photos.
    Videos are really effective on websites. You might consider making a video describing these issues with photos for illustrations. But keep it under three minutes unless you are a very entertaining speaker

    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    333

    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Lon,

    You don't need a comma between "suggestion" and "is" in the third line of the third paragraph.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    2,797

    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Thanks for all your comments, off to edit.

    Michael Thomas
    Paragon Property Services Inc., Chicago IL
    http://paragoninspects.com

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Bennett (Denver metro), Colorado
    Posts
    1,394

    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Quote Originally Posted by BridgeMan View Post
    Lon,

    You don't need a comma between "suggestion" and "is" in the third line of the third paragraph.
    LOL, true.......spell check is pretty good, but I need punctuation check.

    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Comments and suggestions on this article

    Michael

    Good article though
    Keep us updated with you next draft.

    Mark Parlee
    The Building Consultant www.thebuildingconsultant.com
    “Real Solutions for Real Problems” EDI EIFS and Building Envelope

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