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Thread: Proof read this

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
    Posts
    3,746

    Default Proof read this

    These are 2 documents I wrote for my backflow testing service.
    If you would, proof read them and offer suggestions and advice.
    I wanted you (HIs from IN) to proof read them because many of you (myself included) are so anal (not an insult).

    Thank you

    The Georgia Environmental Protection Division (EPD), and the Columbus Water Works require backflow prevention assemblies be serviced and maintained in accordance with the manufacturers instructions. To insure that backflow prevention assemblies are performing to the manufactures standards, the water consumer is required to have backflow prevention assemblies tested annually by a Georgia state certified Backflow Prevention Assembly Tester (BPAT). Backflow prevention assemblies not performing to the minimum standards of the manufacture must be serviced or repaired as needed. After any service or repair is made to a backflow prevention assembly, the assembly must be re-tested and a report of the service or repairs made including test results, filed with the water authority by the tester.

    The backflow prevention assembly listed below did not meet minimum standards as required by the Georgia Environmental Protection Division and the Columbus Water Works.
    Test results and a description of the service or repair that is likely needed is provided for your benefit.

    Location; .
    Manufacturer; Model; , Size; , Serial #; , Date of test;
    Check valve #1,
    Check valve #2,
    Other,

    The backflow assembly needs to be disassembled, cleaned, and examined to determine if any parts need to be replaced.

    Dissolved minerals in the water will build up on internal parts of the assembly. Over time this buildup will cause the internal seals to “Foul” or leak. When these seals leak, the assembly will not function properly.
    Often, just disassembling and cleaning of the backflow assembly will restore the assembly to acceptable standards. Fouling of the seals is the most common reason that a backflow assembly fails the annual test.

    Disassembling and cleaning the backflow assembly is a fairly straightforward task, and can be performed by most maintenance staff in about 2 hours. If you do not have a maintenance person you can use an ordinary plumber.
    You do not need a certification to service or make repairs to a backflow assembly, only for testing.

    I will be happy to provide your maintenance person with instructions and advice on how to perform the service, at no charge. After the service has been performed, I will retest the assembly, again at no charge.

    Thank you


    Rick Cantrell
    Backflow Testing of Columbus
    912 42nd st
    Columbus GA 31904
    706 221 1495


    Why do I need to test the backflow assembly?

    Yearly testing assures that all backflow assembles are performing to standards that help protect everyone connected to the municipal water supply. Without backflow prevention and regular testing, your neighbor could be polluting your drinking water.
    Clean water, like clean air, is something we can live with.

    My plumber said he can test my backflow assembly, and if it needs service, he can do that also. Why should I use your service?
    It is a conflict of interest for the backflow tester to also make repairs to the backflow assembly. There is a financial incentive to find backflow assemblies that “need to be repaired”. To make matters even worse, the person that made the repairs then certifies that the repairs they made, were performed correctly.
    There is a better way. Use an independent 3rd party tester that does not do repairs. When service is needed, use the same 3rd party tester to test the backflow assembly after service is performed. This is not only the best method, but the only way to insure you are not spending money on unnecessary repairs and the repairs were properly performed.
    I perform backflow testing. I do not perform backflow repairs. I have no reason to report that repairs are needed if they are not in fact needed. When service is needed, you choose who does the service. I then retest the backflow assembly to certify that the assembly is functioning properly. There may be a small trip charge, but there is no charge for the second test.


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    Last edited by Rick Cantrell; 11-15-2011 at 05:18 PM.
    Inspection Referral SOC
    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, Georgia
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    Default Re: Proof read this

    Wow. Too many words. Cut it down by 50% and you might have something.

    "The Code is not a peak to reach but a foundation to build from."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
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    Default Re: Proof read this

    Quote Originally Posted by Bruce Ramsey View Post
    Wow. Too many words. Cut it down by 50% and you might have something.
    Damn, kinda harsh, aren't you Bruce.
    Just kiddin

    Thanks

    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

  4. #4
    Stephen G's Avatar
    Stephen G Guest

    Default Re: Proof read this

    Sorry to pile on, but, I almost didnt want to read it. Edit half of that at least. Change the font. Add some white spaces between the text.

    Speaking as a licensed auto mechanic; consider changing that analogy between emmisions and the backflow preventer. I didn't make the similarity between the two...

    Good luck with your new venture,


    Steve






    Quote Originally Posted by Rick Cantrell View Post
    Damn, kinda harsh, aren't you Bruce.
    Just kiddin

    Thanks



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
    Posts
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    Default Re: Proof read this

    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen G View Post
    Sorry to pile on, but, I almost didnt want to read it. Edit half of that at least. Change the font. Add some white spaces between the text.

    Speaking as a licensed auto mechanic; consider changing that analogy between emmisions and the backflow preventer. I didn't make the similarity between the two...

    Good luck with your new venture,


    Steve
    I want your thoughts, this is why I posted it here.
    Thanks for the taking time to read it and responding

    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Osceola, AR
    Posts
    310

    Default Re: Proof read this

    Rick
    On the first document. I don't think the analogy of the vehicle emissions works either. I would lose that paragraph and just try to stick to the point.
    On the service document in the first paragraph you use manufactures, should read manufacturers.

    Alton Darty
    ATN Services, LLC
    www.arinspections.com

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
    Posts
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    Default Re: Proof read this

    Thanks guys
    Changes have been made

    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    893

    Default Re: Proof read this

    Here is some language for the beginning of your letter.

    Backflow is the reversal of the normal and intended direction of water flow in a water system. Devices and assemblies known as backflow preventers are installed to prevent backflow, which can contaminate potable water supplies.

    Why is backflow a problem?

    Backflow is a potential problem in a water system because it can spread contaminated water back through a distribution system. For example, backflow at uncontrolled cross connections (cross-connections are any actual or potential connection between the public water supply and a source of contamination or pollution) can allow pollutants or contaminants to enter the potable water system. Sickness can result from ingesting water that has been contaminated due to backflow.

    Backflow may occur under the following two conditions:
    back-pressure:
    Back-pressure is the reverse from normal flow direction within a piping system as the result of the downstream pressure being higher than the supply pressure. This reduction in supply pressure occurs whenever the amount of water being used exceeds the amount of water being supplied (such as during water-line flushing, fire-fighting, or breaks in water mains).


    back-siphonage:
    Back-siphonage is the reverse from normal flow direction within a piping system that is caused by negative pressure in the supply piping (i.e., the reversal of normal flow in a system caused by a vacuum or partial vacuum within the water supply piping). Back-siphonage can occur when there is a high velocity in a pipe line, when there is a line repair or break that is lower than a service point, or when there is lowered main pressure due to high-water withdrawal rate (such as during fire-fighting or water-main flushing).


    Lisa Endza
    Director of Communication
    InterNACHI

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: Proof read this

    A well-written article! My suggestions are in red. I added a space (to make two spaces) between the end of a sentence and the beginning of the next, but because I had to copy and paste, they may have already been there. My word processor sometimes does that. So, of course, these won't show in red. The red underlines are not mine; spellcheckers don't like some of the technical words that we use.

    Some of my additions are small and may be hard to see, e.g., manufacturer's (possessive - one manufacturer) vs manufacturers (plural):

    The Georgia Environmental Protection Division (EPD), and the Columbus Water Works require backflow prevention assemblies be serviced and maintained in accordance with the manufacturers instructions. To insure that backflow prevention assemblies are performing to the manufacturer’s standards, the water consumer is required to have backflow prevention assemblies tested annually by a Georgia state certified Backflow Prevention Assembly Tester (BPAT). Backflow prevention assemblies not performing to the minimum standards of the manufacturer must be serviced or repaired as needed. After any service or repair is made to a backflow prevention assembly, the assembly must be re-tested and a report of the service or repairs made, including test results, filed with the water authority by the tester.

    The backflow prevention assembly listed below did not meet minimum standards as required by the Georgia Environmental Protection Division and the Columbus Water Works. Test results and a description of the service or repair that is likely needed is provided for your benefit.

    Location; .
    Manufacturer; Model; , Size; , Serial #; , Date of test;
    Check valve #1,
    Check valve #2,
    Other,

    The backflow assembly needs to be disassembled, cleaned, and examined to determine if any parts need to be replaced.

    Dissolved minerals in the water will build up on internal parts of the assembly. Over time this buildup will cause the internal seals to “Foul” or leak. When these seals leak, the assembly will not function properly. Often, just disassembling and cleaning of the backflow assembly will restore the assembly to acceptable standards. Fouling of the seals is the most common reason that a backflow assembly fails the annual test.

    Disassembling and cleaning the backflow assembly is a fairly straight-forward task, and can be performed by most maintenance staff in about two hours. If you do not have a maintenance person you can use an ordinary plumber. You do not need a certification to service or make repairs to a backflow assembly, only for testing.

    I will be happy to provide your maintenance person with instructions and advice on how to perform the service, at no charge. After the service has been performed, I will retest the assembly, again at no charge.

    Thank you


    Rick Cantrell
    Backflow Testing of Columbus
    912 42nd St
    Columbus GA 31904
    706 221 1495


    Q: Why do I need to test the backflow assembly?

    A: Yearly testing assures that all backflow assembles are performing to standards that help protect everyone connected to the municipal water supply. Without backflow prevention and regular testing, your neighbor could be polluting your drinking water. Clean water, like clean air, is something we can live with.

    Q: My plumber said he can test my backflow assembly, and if it needs service, he can do that also. Why should I use your service?

    A: It is a conflict of interest for the backflow tester to also make repairs to the backflow assembly. There is a financial incentive to find backflow assemblies that “need to be repaired”. To make matters even worse, the person that made the repairs then certifies that the repairs they made, were performed correctly.

    There is a better way. Use an independent 3rd party tester that does not do repairs. When service is needed, use the same 3rd party tester to test the backflow assembly after service is performed. This is not only the best method, but the only way to insure you are not spending money on unnecessary repairs and the repairs were properly performed.

    I perform backflow testing. I do not perform backflow repairs. I have no reason to report that repairs are needed if they are not in fact needed. When service is needed, you choose who does the service. I then retest the backflow assembly to certify that the assembly is functioning properly. There may be a small trip charge, but there is no charge for the second test.


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
    Posts
    3,746

    Default Re: Proof read this

    Thanks Garrett

    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
    Posts
    3,746

    Default Re: Proof read this

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Humphries View Post
    Rick, how do intend on distributing these "documents"? Online as downloadable PDF files? In a printed brochure? In a Power-Point?

    The way you intend on using this material is relevant to how it should be edited.
    When a backflow fails the test, I email the report and these docs to the water consumer.

    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Columbus GA
    Posts
    3,746

    Default Re: Proof read this

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Humphries View Post
    If that's the case, then I have to disagree with others who said it is too long. From a content standpoint, it's great info to send. Obviously, you are going to make it readable and presentable, so kudos to you.
    Thanks

    But at first it was much, much longer.

    ' correct a wise man and you gain a friend... correct a fool and he'll bloody your nose'.

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