Thread: 10 Things Your Home Inspector Won't Tell You

I don't know if many of you read Reader's Digest, but they've been featuring occupations with this type of story line for a little while. I thought it would be fun to create our own, since our line of work is not as well know to the public as a lot of other careers. Maybe we can send it in to RD and get a little more recognition.

So, what would you submit if asked for something you know but would not likely tell a seller or buyer during the inspection?

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I did a little dance while the realtor fumbled with the lockbox and the door key.
Then I went and checked the plumbing, and it was good.

The only thing i would not tell a client would be that his wife is ugly!
Everything else, including that she dosen't listen, talks too much, her mother included, and that their broker is not the most honest person I have ever met would be just a normal day.
We are judged by out honesty.
I don't pick who or what comes before me.
I only describe it as I see it.
Some days are better than others
Oh, and one other thing
I would never tell any one
I'm BLIND

1. Your agent is a money-grubbing chauffeur who could not negotiate his/her way out of a paper bag.

2. Your ideas about how the inspection should be performed mean squat.

3. This neighborhood is not a place I would want to live.

4. Regarding code issues that are "grandfathered", your grandpa doesn't work here.

5. Your know-it-all brother-in-law, uncle, cousin, or whatever, who is (or used to be) a contractor cannot attend the inspection unless he promises not to speak. Duct tape will appear if he does.

6. Your children are annoying me. Duct tape is near.

7. House flippers are slum lord wannabes.

OK, actually I have said all of the above at one time or another. The kinder, gentler me is now more apt to soften the message while retaining the meaning.

My real name.