"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Clarence Darrow

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

Oscar Wilde

" I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man who worships his creator."

John Bright

"I just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

Irvin S. Cobb

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend if you have one."

From George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second night if there is one."

Churchill's response to Shaw

"He is not only dull himself he is the cause of dullness in others."

Samuel Jackson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."

Walter Kerr

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West

"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee."

Lady Astor, to Winston Churchill, at a dinner party:

"Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it."

Churchill's reply to Lady Astor

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