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When insults had class
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
— Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
— Clarence Darrow
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
— Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
— Oscar Wilde
" I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
— Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man who worships his creator."
— John Bright
"I just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
— Irvin S. Cobb
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
— William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend — if you have one."
— From George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second night — if there is one."
— Churchill's response to Shaw
"He is not only dull himself — he is the cause of dullness in others."
— Samuel Jackson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
— Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
— Walter Kerr
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
— Mae West
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee."
— Lady Astor, to Winston Churchill, at a dinner party:
"Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it."
— Churchill's reply to Lady Astor
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