Thread: Headlines from the year 2029

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:

2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Air Gap devices on dishwashers found to be cancer causing.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Real Estate Agents commissions drops 1 point to 36%.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

Home Inspection fees on Average surpass 400.00

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

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Gas prices hit a new record for the 10,000 time and is now $25.00 per gal. President Chelsea Clinton vows to take measures to get America on an alternative fuel.

Minimum wage was increased again to $7.95 per hr.

The median price of a family home is $500,000.

The median family income is $40,000

The average number of people living in the family home is 10 because no one can afford a house of their own any more.

OK, those weren't funny, but probably close to true.

This is a glimpse of ordering a pizza in the not so distant future.
http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf