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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Greene Va
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    Default Lack of sliding banister a structural flaw

    Home Inspector Warns That House Lacks Banister You Can Slide All The Way Down

    ATHENS, GA—Saying he would personally be extremely wary of investing in a property with such a fundamental structural flaw, home inspector Samuel Finch warned local couple Irene and Matthew Gilman today that the house they were considering purchasing lacked a banister you can slide all the way down. “I hate to have such bad news to report, but it’s best you folks know now that the front staircase here does not have a railing you can sit on and zoom all the way down from top to bottom—it’s in pretty bad shape,” said Finch, adding that moving into a home with a banister that is smooth and wide enough to ensure a fast and stable ride would be particularly important if the couple was planning to start a family. “As you can see, the current railing is far too thin and angular to allow for a fun slide down. If you do buy this property, the banister is going to need around $1,500 worth of work, and more if you want a large, round post that stops you once you’ve gotten to the bottom. I would seriously reconsider moving forward with this deal if I were you.” Finch added that he would be happy to come back later if the couple ended up opting to renovate to ensure the banister was functioning correctly.

    Home Inspector Warns That House Lacks Banister You Can Slide All The Way Down - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Santa Rosa, CA
    Posts
    3,154

    Default Re: Lack of sliding banister a structural flaw

    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin Wood View Post
    Well that my friend is an APRIL FOOL. LOL
    Ya. It's from The Onion.

    Department of Redundancy Department
    Supreme Emperor of Hyperbole
    http://www.FullCircleInspect.com/

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Bennett (Denver metro), Colorado
    Posts
    1,461

    Default Re: Lack of sliding banister a structural flaw

    I can gather all the news I need from the weather report, the comics, and the Onion.

    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Maryland
    Posts
    2,809

    Default Re: Lack of sliding banister a structural flaw

    Quote Originally Posted by Lon Henderson View Post
    I can gather all the news I need from the weather report, the comics, and the Onion.
    None of which are held accountable for what they say, like politicians


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